Makkah, Madina, My Journey

The worlds most beautiful place ever, my eyes met the Kaaba but my heart spoke and my body reacted.. It was almost natural.. Tears just flew left right up and down.. Dont ask me how.. I cant fully describe it but I will try to my best ability;

Each footstep towards the centre of the earth was magnetic, the outside was crowded as thousands of pilgrims like I was heading here, I remember my mum holding me tightly.. Except she was holding my jilbab(long islamic dress cloak)
I remember my heartbeat speeding up I was so excited.. I set my eyes on the wall, gold designs all over, a tall humongous door for the enterance As the herds of the crowds pushed their way in slowly.. I was a dot out of a thousand and more.. As soon as we got inside my soul lifted itself and was so excited it was such a uplifting moment. I remember passing Muslims sitting down reciting Quran, and others just sitting pondering at the beautiful sight and others just minding their own business. I walked down the marble Stairs and at this point I could see the Kaaba my eyes decided to water as my heart decided to run a mile, my body which is typically cold decided to pay me back and turn warm, I was over whelmed.. I was here.. All praise to Allah- Lord of the worlds, the most powerful the most great... My mum was weeping with joy silently, this is what my eyes were missing out on.. We began to circumbulate around the Kaaba performing our umrah^
Rotating 7 hole times around the Kaaba seemed a lot at first but it sure went quick.. I remember the whole time my eyes were wet and I felt like my body was floating and I was just swirling amongst the crowd.. It was taraweeh time and sheikh Sudais was reciting.. Seeing him was like seeing a celebrity but much more becaus I have so much respect for him Allahuma Barik.. I felt at home I wish I could stay there forever.. I pray I can go back and live there.. My dream...

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Dealing with Death

We all want to pretend like death isn't approaching us, because i am healthy and young right?

Wrong.


Death is sudden, and is inevitable. IT WILL COME. We are scared of it, and that is fine, its in our nature to be scared of endings, and to be afraid of what you dont know. A lot of people don't know what happens when you die, you know, the basic eternal questions, is there life after death, bla , bla, right.

Wrong again.

You see, we will all die, and new people will born and they will die, just let that sink in, you, will, die. A new baby will be born just how you were born, and will replace you, and you will be carried in your casket, and be dug under ground, far far 6feet under ground, people will one day maybe forget you, your essence will be gone, eventually, and you will rot, and be eaten by worms and maggots. Sounds disgusting right. Because we don't want to consider this happening to us. But it is fatal.


Right?
So now you are visualising you dead in your grave, immobile, lifeless, don't you just wonder, oh dont you just think, what was the point in life? You see that eerie feeling you get when you really think about this engrossing meaningful answer, and then you neglect it and brush it under,

NO
Don't do that, don't ignore your intriguing mind when searching the truth, there is a slight inclination there, you see, that we are here in this strange planet, for a reason, a purpose, and we need to search deep for that.

YES.
I witnessed my most beloved pass away infront of me, my eyes clenched in niagra to become ductless, and i could not just contain such a view, i didnt scream or shout, or panic or yell or run around frantically.
I just stood there, amongst my family. Teary, and in shock. Good bye.
I am not afraid of the unknown because i know, what it is, i fully understand it, and NO it is not a paradigm or just my opinion, it is clear fact. ISLAM is clear fact. Life after death exists.

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West London Mosque

SALAM- My sister heard about this mosque in West London, and her friend told us to come with her and check it out, they do good lessons there, and it may help me start practising Islam!
We went with her, at first I was kind of scared because I don’t dress like the sisters they all wear big jilbabs, and niqabs, and I wear just abaya, I saw so many sisters so kind to each other.
I feel like they are closer to Allah than me, and I really want Allah to love me. I want to attend these classes every Sunday and become better like those girls, they all were so beautiful and so kind, and I want to be like that. They have so much knowledge, but I have none!
My favourite teacher comes here too!
Oh pls make dua that I become better.

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If there isn't #one way, there is #another.

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Year 11 and mega stress

These times stress me out. So much work to do! So little time, and I just can't see myself to motivate myself. 

I try really hard to get good grades, I just wish I didn't muck up in year 10, and really got better grades so now all I would need to do is focus and better my grades. Where did time go?

Times were fun, and flew past. And now. I have God knows how many re-takes and exams! Miss Robertson is the only teacher taking this serious, Mr Lawrence is starting to motivate me, partly because I am improving! And maths is a joke. 

All I can see myself to do now is jump on the wagon, suffer my non-attending prom fantasy, whilst I go and socially ruin my last year of high school, my friends will get rusty, haha, Anyways I don't need  it to be happy, I am already content. #greatfull! 

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Sometimes we expect more than what's given

My thoughts over-ride me, is there something un-friendly about me? Why do my friends distance from me? I give to much in a friendship, and want the same back, but I don't even care if they don't give that back, Just want the good old days! 

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School, will you soon end?

School is so much fun, honestly. Everyday I and my friends do something different, and adventure. I enjoy it to MAX 70% but I obviously want more fun! I dont want to accept that I have to take it serious soon! Get cracking with crack a lack of revision time table- which should just sit in a corner of the wall and cry because i HATE YOU TIMETABLE!

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I wrote this story- I'm not finished yet- sneak peak

We all love our last year of High School, no more lower school, and hello future adulthood. Although I'm not that excited to separate from my best friends since we'll be going different Sixth forms. I will still see them. No matter what. I thought so at the time. My teacher's advised me from the beginning of the year that this is going to be an intense year, arguably harder than anything I have ever done. In the summer I was to take 24 exams. I make sure I revise every day and prepare myself for those final exams. My name is Jaz, short for Jasmine, I love tea, and I hate with my heart injustice, I hope to study Law and psychology in university, and thrive to become a forensic/ criminal psychologist. Everything seemed to go perfectly for me. No drama since I began year 11, I assumed it's because in general I am a warm and bubbly person. Until this last semester. There's this group of girls in my Law class that feel the need to be rude and comment on anything they like. The moment you talk back or defend yourself, is the moment war begins. The best and most rational thing to do is to ignore then. Right? Well it's not as easy as that. Siobhan for instance, stares at me and looks at me like I frustrate her every living bone. I've never really had a personal conversation with her for me to know her, so I don't understand why she hates me? I've always ignored her until this semester when she walked into class with a diet Pepsi in her hand, sat beside me and stared at me. I have never felt as awkward- in a really bad way- as I did that very moment. My teacher called out "Siobhan sit in your seat" and I hesitated if I should speak to her. I'm not scared to say what I feel, neither am I scared of a bully like her. I asked her why she's gleaming at me with her eye's popping out like she just cut me into pieces in her head. She kissed her teeth and walked back to her seat. War has begun. I keep a large group of friends in school, and a small circle outside school. My best friend- really my sister is Imogen Wright. We've never had a serious argument where we stop talking for a while, and we don't like being too attached. She goes to a different school, and lives just down the road from me. Our parents met before us, when we moved to the neighbourhood, and that's how we became friends. We were always around each other when we were younger but for some reason we never noticed each other, or spoke. For instance during the Netball league challenge for the year 5's in our local council annual match, me and her were both centre position, and we played so intense we scored a draw. They took a picture of the two winners and published it on the borough paper. My mum posted it on Facebook and till now we laugh at those days we didn't know each other, yet now we're inseparable. Siobhan walked past me in class and "accidently" she claims dropped the can of pepsi on my text book. I didn't think she was intentionally doing this and gave her the benefit of the doubt. I cleaned the mess up, and kept her thinking I am a fool. Little did I know they were all laughing at me. She apologised of course, the entire class was watching. At the time I thought her apology was sincere, or I excused her. But it was a patronising apology. Demeaning me. I only realised then. War has begun.

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Writting your story...What is Love?

I always wondered what this over exaggerated phenomenen is? Love... I think the people in my school get Love confused with Lust. Because in my opinion love is a emotional, physical, spirtual process by which you grow attached to someone. Okay, LoL enough with this philosophical me :D

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Bus journey

--------------- So, one day I was on the bus and I imagined this story- so I then wrote it- Enjoy! I was walking up the stairs on the 182 bus and as I got to the top I turned around my eyes searching for a double-free seat. Instead it caught to my attention that all the passengers were staring at me sharply, I was so confused.. I walked slowly to an empty seat I found on the fourth row, sat down and tried my best not to laugh, strangely enough that's what I felt like.. To laugh.. In awkward situations I find myself giggling, although this wasn't awkward this was scary if anything, all of their heads facing me at my seat I began to worry, they looked like normal average day to day people, I threw my head down and looked out the window, hoping this will distract me and make the people stop staring, maybe I was his very paranoid and infant no one was looking at me..
The bus driver announced a diversion.. I began to hesitate should I get of now? Too late he shut the door and drove off .. Okay that's fine i will make it home for before it gets fully dark.. I thought. The bus takes a long route. I'm panicking. I rush downstairs demanding to be let out , but it was as if the bus driver was deaf dumb and blind... The whole of downstairs of the double decker bus was empty whereas where I came from upstairs was packed.. Now I noticed the strangeness of this bus. I needed to get off. I pressed the emergency open button ontop of the door. Nothing. I pressed agin. Nothing. I was shaking. Scared because I'm not familiar to this area, and the speed of the bus isn't helping neither is the silence. I ran back upstairs in search of some help. "The bus driver isn't responding and we are heading towards the middle of nowhere, can someone please hear me, anybody? This isn't funny, who's got an phone? Anybody?" no one twitched a inch.. I headed close to a teenage girl, I looked at her eyes, she looks so real with brown eyes fair skin, she was pretty, fashionable not much older than me, I waved into her face, not even blinking. I was shaking my head uncontainably, why was no one hearing me? Where am I going?

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