Thursday 27 February 2014

Rectify

I know that mistakes are inevitable, but I just wish I stopped making annoying mistakes. Embarising mistakes. Unresponsable mistakes. Like this morning was awards presentation and I on purposely over-slept, completely forgetting not only bad I needed to be at school at 9 i also needed to be at my dentist at 8! 

I just feel great.

Saturday 22 February 2014

Thursday 20 February 2014

Insecurities. Who is the prettiest?

We are all aware of some parts of our body we don't like. 

But I seem to be overly-concerned about myself. It worries me that I find my mood go down because I am unhappy with something about myself, and then I ask myself why am I so down? It dawns on me. Why must society idolise one stereotype of women to be beautiful? Aren't we all beautiful in our own way?

I used to be extremely depressed about myself, but over these few months I really  started to appreciate myself, and I must say one word. Twitter. 
I have come across a lot of tweets that made me contemplate, and finally conclude that I am beautiful. Lol I sound like Christina Aguilera!  I am beautiful in every single way! 

No seriously, what made me happy, and brought me inner peace is this quote: 

"We will spend more time under ground than over ground" 

Just ponder and re-read! How true it is. 
God made every single one of us, we all look different! But why should one type of people be beautiful? He made us all perfect, by questioning some people's beauty you are questioning God's creation of the perfect mankind! 


Why care that much about our looks that- as Hamlet philosophises in Shakespeare's best... Will eventually decay and rot, be eaten by worms and then those very worms will be used to reel fish, and those fish are indulged by us. We came from earth and really, we will return to it.
I dont want to be depressed over my insecurities, but the thought of that calms my worries!

Wednesday 19 February 2014

Tuesday 18 February 2014

Feeling like decay

I am so confused. One minute I am happy, kind to everyone etc...

Then the next, I feel like something is missing. I sometimes feel like what I am walking towards is what I wanted to leave behind. 

As if, the clear depicted image in my head- of my happy fantasy, and my long goal is decaying. That's that. It feels as though that colourful imagination is almost drying away, and becoming just that further away. Eroding? 
Can my aspirations really dry dust the way I am seeing it?

Or is there something else that is making me feel so irritated and small- distant from what I thought I would be, instead of the reality of what I will be if I keep walking down this narrowed pathway. Ah. #SocialHelpPls 

Monday 17 February 2014

Do you want Cliche?

Six five four three two one.

Most teens my age, have a social life, but I feel like it is literally impossible, with all my circumstances. I am so different nobody will understand me, nor like me. Blah. I am so over the high school phase where I cared about what people thought about me, but I just want to laugh non stop with my friends, have someone very-much like me who tottally really gets me, surround me. But like I'm not that type of friend that constantly calls each other on the phone, nor am I that wild crazy friend- anymore that is. With all my circumstances... But like, I dont want drama surrounding me, I want to be appreciative of all the innocent fun, like a trip out into the forest to do photography and laugh non stop, or like meet up in coffee shops to discuss the latest series we watched and cul'( catch up on life) 

So boring and cliche, haha. That's why I probably am a saddo😅. Way me. 


Sunday 16 February 2014

Smiteful people

Here's a story I just wrote, dedicated to those girls out there being humiliated, hurt, and neglected. I hope that from this story people can understand that comfort and support are crucial to be given out to those you love, especially those who need it the most.Often we give out signs of our weakness, or our decaying happiness, and it is then that those people nearest to you need to support you morally, and make you happy, reaffirm your solitude to protect you from depression. This is a short story I wrote to express the feeling of isolation and depression amongst the young, it is a reminder to constantly hug, care and cherish those younger people around you that crave affection. By no means do I promote any one to hurt themselves, no self harm doesn't do anything for you! but talking and eating icecream, joining clubs will help you feel better, if you want better, you have to be active and make yourself see the good in life. Whilst you have life, unlike Neila Kyul. Enjoy! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ January 1st 2013 Letter by Neila Kyul. "Isn't it painful when you feel so hurt and melancholy that you just want a hug, and instead people laugh at you. As if, you have to push your feelings aside, and laugh through your hurt. People don't have sympathy. Some people can be cruel to level 100." Neila was 16 when she died. Her family grieved for a century, and still drag the sorrow through their daily life. She wrote this letter the day of her death coincidently, which until now, raises many questions. Such as, what did she mean? Was she unhappy? Who made her feel like this? She lived in a large family with 3 younger brothers, and 2 older sisters, in a quiet neighbourhood near the river thames, alongside the river thames towards west london. She was very insecure and quiet, barely spoke much, and had hidden talents... School life Family banter Isoaltion Depreesssion

Wednesday 12 February 2014

Classroom

I ran up the stairs trying to make it in time for lesson, I'm not usually late to class, but today I was caught up...

Tuesday 11 February 2014

Flappy bird

I have discovered that there is a psychology behind this phenomenal game! The only way to conquer flappy bird, is simply to NOT concentrate. Distract your mind elsewhere, put on a podcast, listen to your friend talking etc. Then, watch. How suddenly you will reach 40's then 60's and like many prosper to 100-200's 

I noticed, whenever people focus hard, they struggle to reach 1 sometimes lol! 

So my advice is don't focus! Just play for the sake of procrastination! 

Oh and to those who don't have the app, because they deleted it and now want it back, HAHA it's gone from the App Store 

Saturday 8 February 2014

Friday 7 February 2014

Bus driver and stress!

It was a rainy day, early morning at 8:25, and I was near by school on the bus 3 stops away. Annoyingly, there is a train strike so more people resort to transport via Cars. Which means more traffic on the day of my exam. Stress!

I dreaded doing this, but I had to for 2 reasons. One reason simply because i was too short to reach the emergency open door button. Two, because no one else on the bus out of all the students who had a exam seemed to care as much as I did. So, I approached the familiar and friendly looking Asian man and asked him if he could open the door, the traffic wasn't moving, and I am really in a rush. Instead he ignored me. Pretended I wasn't there. The bus was pretty empty i guarantee you he saw me. I felt humiliated at his disrespect. I asked him repeatedly if he could kindly open the door instead he literally opened his passenger booth door. Then he turned his face from me and said no, fixating his face unto the road. Uh, it's not like the traffic was moving why wouldn't he open the door!!

I assume it's because of my attire. Blehhhhh. 

I eventually reached the next stop and ran to school, fortunately I made it just in time before the exam began.